Overcoming the Demon of Listlessness
Fr. Kevin Millsaps, May 3, 2009

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

St. Diadochos of Photiki, one of collected fathers in the great Orthodox anthology, the Philokalia, often wrote of the spiritual effects of indifference (which he also labeled listlessness). He said indifference prevents us from "feeling any strong desire for the blessings prepared for us in the life to come...it depreciates spiritual life itself."

When I stop to take an account of the direction that my life in Christ is going, I often discover that at the root of most of my problems lies this exact spiritual disease. In fact, many of us who are bombarded by the realities of secular life develop the habit of listlessness in response to the pain, heartbreak, suffering, and disappointment associated with merely "getting through the day." What are we to do? Well, first, we must recognize the reality of this illness- that we often invite it upon ourselves by means of our own spiritual habits. For example, when I once belonged to the ranks of the laity- when I stood where you now stand at each Liturgy- I can remember that by not keeping a rule of daily prayer, by not reading the scriptures, by not at least trying to reach out daily to God in some way, my Christian life would quickly jump the tracks so to speak. I would miss two or three Liturgies in a row and my relationship with Christ would slip into a malaise. Moreover, the feelings of unworthiness, regret, and shame for having done so would pile up. It seemed that the longer I was away from Church, the easier it was to stay away and the harder it was to ever return. And trust me, I could come up with wonderful excuses in an attempt to mask the root problems in my heart.

Likewise, I see that many in our parish are stuck in the same trap I was stuck in. All to often, many of us say that we are busy with our children`s activities, a burdensome work schedule, our businesses, etc. In reality, the problem that keeps many of us away from the Church is the same as the one that I wrestled with daily-listlessness and indifference. To remain an Orthodox Christian and to actually grow in Christ, to actually grow in theosis, requires a diligent and strenuous effort. To be an Orthodox Christian requires an active, not passive spiritual life. It requires making the tough choices on Sunday morning and during the other times that our Eucharistic community comes together. It requires discipline and the constantly tending and fortification of our inner lives. Do we allow other concerns to sap the spiritual life out of us? Do we allow the distractions of the world to take precedence over what matters in the eternal scheme of things? Do we allow these things to depreciate our spiritual lives, as St. Diadochos says- our lives in Jesus Christ? This is, after all, the only thing that really matters!

Something that has always motivated me is the realization that I will stand in judgment before Christ and give an account for my life and my actions. Likewise, we must all ask ourselves, "will our excuses, our indifference, our listlessness, excuse us from the righteous judgment of the Lord." It will not! What will matter is that we may all answer: "I actually cared for and tended to my own spiritual well being; I ensured that my children and the people I loved were being nurtured and developed in the Orthodox Christian faith; I made use of the great gifts that Our Lord has provided through his Holy Church; I loved others as Christ first loved me." Apart from these answers, no others will suffice. Our worldly success will not matter, the size of our bank accounts will not matter. In short, most of the things that our world holds up as indicators of success and well-being will mean absolutely nothing!

I pray that we may all overcome the demonic sickness of indifference toward Christ and his Church. I pray that we may quickly awaken from our respective spiritual stupors and grow together as brothers and sisters joined with each other and with Christ through his life-giving Eucharist. It is our Lord`s overriding concern that we all be saved and that we spend eternity with him. We are truly loved by him in ways that pass our understanding. Yet, we must, in our own freewills, make the decision to either reject or accept what he so freely offers. The means of living and growing in Christ are at our hands right here in our little parish in the Tri-Cities. What is our answer? What will we say on behalf of ourselves or those who depend on us (i.e. our children) to guide them toward what is good and true?

With Love Always,

Fr. Kevin Millsaps