WHERE DO I GO AGAIN?
In proclaiming the joyous greeting of Pascha, “Christ is Risen,” reflecting within my heart and mind on what an amazing triumph occurred more than 2,000 years ago during that first Holy Week – the last week in the life of our beloved Lord before His death and resurrection. What an amazing experience we share together participating in the Scriptural readings, prayers, hymns, and liturgical remembrance each Holy Week, followed by the Blessed Resurrection of our Risen Lord. As members of Christ’s body of followers, we have received His truth, His love, and His mercy. Now, in the joyous Paschal Season, what should we do next with this revelation and remembrance we just shared together?
In the Gospel account of Jesus taking His Disciples aside and telling them that He would be betrayed, condemned, and put to death, rise again from the dead (Mark 10:32-45),on the threshold of Holy Week, it is like our Savior is taking us aside to explain personally the mystery of His gift of salvation. How do we respond? Do we ask our Lord to help us understand what is taking place for our sakes ? Will we prepare room for Jesus to meet us and guide us? Will we seize opportunities to open our hearts and minds and be alone and quiet with Him? Are we able to “drink of the same cup” as Him?
Only God and each of us know how we chose to respond to these questions. But our personal “journey of faith” leading us to our Risen Lord does not end with the completion of Holy Week, the arrival of Pascha, and the celebration of Bright Week and the Paschal period.
“Where do I go from here?” Before responding, put yourself in the historical presence of Jesus’ original Disciples some 2,000 plus years ago who each confronted that same question after Jesus’ Resurrection and Ascension into Heaven. Indeed, I have found myself wondering how I would compare with any one of our Lord’s Disciples. His followers represent all that is good and bad about our humanity.
Maybe I see myself in Matthew. Here was a man with a brilliant, analytical mind, but who initially used it for “self” rather than for God. He became a tax collector, colluding in a corrupt manner with the Romans, extracintg taxes to support the very institution enslaving the Jews. He reminds us just how far we are willing to go to advance our own personal ambition. But when Matthew chose to follow Jesus, he joined Him completely. As His Disciple, Matthew used that brilliant analytical mind and his education to keep an account of the Master’s teachings. Matthew’s response reminds us that our talents are God-given, but we must chose to use our talents toward the right end – to enhance humanity and assist this world become a better place by our having been alive. Matthew The Gospel which bears his name contains Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount and a majority of Jesus’ parables.and changed the world like few writings have ever done.
Or, perhaps either James or John, the Sons of Zebedee, reminding us of the pride and the ego within us all when they asked our Lord on the night of the “Last or Mystical Supper”: “Grant us to sit, one at Your right hand and one at Your left, in Your glory.” (Mark 10:37) This angered the other Disciples, and even on their last night together, they began arguing among themselves as to which one is the greatest, and who deserves the seat of honor at the table. James and John remind us that if we are to follow Jesus, we must first surrender ego. We must decrease so that He might increase, remembering the words of Jesus: “…whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant” (Mark 10:44).
Then again, maybe I see myself as Nathanael, who reminds us of the prejudice in our land and our hearts. When he first heard about Jesus he said, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” (John 1:46) In countless ways, we echo his words and sentiments and if we are to free others, we must first be free ourselves – free of the prejudices that separate us from others.
Surely, I can see a part of myself in Thomas, longing for proof, for something tangible that we can cling to when our personal vision or experience of God begins to fail. We live in a cynical, “prove-it-to-me” age. But Thomas’ reaction reminds us that resurrection faith is not something that can be neatly wrapped up in a package. To follow the Lord, we must be able to echo the words: “I believe, help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)
Maybe I see myself as Simon the Zealot, who hated a certain group of people with a passion, reminding us that anger is an emotion that we today are not beyond. The “Zealots” were a political faction who wanted the Romans out of Jerusalem and the Jews in complete control, and they were more than willing to commit murder and disorder to accomplish their goal - terrorists. Simon If we are to follow our Lord, we must even “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)
Or perhaps I see myself as Andrew, who brought his brother Simon Peter to Jesus, but he never gets the credit. He always lives “under the shadow," never in the inner circle of Peter, James, and John, although Andrew brought them all to Jesus, and had been fishing with them since they were young. If we are to follow our Lord, we cannot insist on being “in the limelight”. Those who are truly committed to serving others rarely get recognition and notoriety. There will be times when we must defer to others in humility and for the sake of unity.
There also was Judas. If we do not see Judas in our self, perhaps it is because we are not looking closely enough. Judas was impatient with Jesus. He believed that Jesus really did have the power to bring about the Kingdom of God, but he did not understand why He kept waiting. Judas, therefore, contrived a situation in which Jesus would be forced to show His power by turning Him over to the Jews and Romans. We must remember that our schedule is not always God’s schedule and that our means are not always God’s means. All too often, we see with the vision of the immediate. God sees with the vision of eternity. God knows. We only think that we know.
And then, there is Simon Peter- so impetuous – always leaping before he looked. When Jesus told the Disciples that they would all fall away, Simon Peter shouted: “Though all become deserters because of You, I will never desert You.” (Matthew 26:33) But Simon Peter did fall away, denying Jesus not once, but three times. To follow our Risen Lord, we must count the cost of discipleship and be willing to pay it in His behalf.
My brothers and sisters in Christ, as you contemplate “Where do I go from here,” may we collectively confess before God and one another that we are in fact, all of the Disciples, with all of their frailties and sinfulness. But we are also like them in our sincere desire to follow Christ – the Messiah, and share Him with all whom we shall encounter. Having been reconciled and renewed through His divine love and mercy, my prayer is that the power of God may re-instill in each of us His mission, and remind us of whom we truly are – contemporary Disciples of Christ living in and through Him, now and forever, and to the ages of ages. Amen!

V. Rev. Fr. George Tsahakis, ST. CHRISTOPHER, Peachtree City, GA

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